I'm so tired. Like in every way, I'm so tired.
Work:
I work way too much, but when I think about it, it's really only 40 hours a week... so where is the rest of my time going? Yeah, your guess is as good as mine. It seems like, as soon as I get out of there, I have to go back again, and I never get enough rest. I'm tired of publix. My job bores me and I hate dealing with people. As in customers. Like, when a customer who's apparently having a bad day takes it out on me and calls me a bitch when I didn't do anything... and especially when I don't feel good on top of that... that's really shitty. And what can I do about it. If I turn around and retaliate and say something to defend myself, I guarantee that a manager will tell me that I'M the one who's wrong. Bull shit. Complete bull shit.
Moving on.
I'm tired of defending my relationship. I'm SO over explaining myself and my boyfriend to everyone. Just because it seems one way to someone, and then everyone starts discussing it amongst themselves and they form one opinion and attack me with it, I have to defend him, and myself when really its no one's business but ours. More on that another time.
I'm tired of myself too. Because I can never just come out and say what I have to say when I have to say it. I'm always afraid of fighting with someone that I'm close to. I don't like arguing with my friends, or my family, so for the sake of no confrontation, I just keep my mouth shut. I really wish I could stop being like that, because I'm pissing myself off.

Ta for now.
Me.

Current Location: Hell

Yeah. Moving just. plain. sucks. ass. I haven't even STARTED packing and I'm already tired of it. I thought I wasn't going to be doing it again for another year or more, and now here we are making plans to start moving stuff THIS WEEKEND and I haven't packed anything. And I don't fucking want to. Here's a good tip to live by. DO NOT GET ATTACHED TO THE PLACE YOU LIVE. Even if you insist that you hate it or whatever. If deep down inside you somewhere, you actually really like where you live, face the facts that you're probably going to have to leave it someday. Simple truth. Because nothing ever stays the same.
I mean, I didn't even really like the house on forest estates. But I thought of it as home. Aside from all the bad shit that went on there, I was comfortable, that house had a lot of my memories attached to it. Not all of them the greatest, but it was still. fucking. home. And then all of the sudden we had two months or however long to get out of there. It was too quick and I was not ready.
But whatever, I could deal. The house on 59th. Yeah, that place pretty much sucked too. If you're a naturally loud family anyway (hello, 7/8 year old BOY...), do not get a house where most of the rooms are TILE. BAD COMBINATION. I'm glad we moved there though, it had to happen for me. Seriously, if we hadn't moved there, I probably would never have worked at the Loxahatchee Publix, and I never would have met Matt. And stuff. But anyway, after not-long-enough I moved out of there and in with Jenn, because I didn't want to move to Hernando and away from my life as I knew it. And I'm glad I didn't. As much as I miss my mother and my sister (and my brother on occasion, still haven't really figured out WHY), if I had moved with them, I probably wouldn't ever talk to Matt anymore, we never would have gotten together and stuff. I wouldn't be where I am now, where for the most part I'm pretty happy. Except for the whole moving thing.
Anyway, next was Anne's house. I somewhat liked living there, at least until certain things happened that really just- ugh, never mind, not even going there. I'm GLAD we left that house. Honestly.
Which bring me to my current living situation.
Bloody. fucking. hell.
You seriously cannot be friends with your roommates. And I don't know when it started, really. I just don't know. Like, I know we complain about them a lot. And they must complain about us to someone, cause they never complain TO us. But I don't know when I really truly started to hate them. Oh wait, I lied, I do know when. In fact I remember the exact moment. It was around eleven at night on a Sunday about... two weeks ago. I believe the exact words out of Jenn's mouth were, "We can't afford to pay rent anymore, and we can't keep borrowing money from our parents, so... we're moving out."
WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!
Seriously, that is by far THE shittiest thing you can do to your roommates. Tell them that you're moving out and basically saying, "Sorry, but not really, we're leaving and we don't care what happens to you."
I really hope things go better from now on. The rent where we're going is a lot better. The only major problem we've had so far is the fact that we can't bring our cat. But I think we'll survive that. The cat might not survive it, but we probably will.
Anyway, I wanted to rant, and I think I'm done, but if I come up with another rant I can always journal again... twice in one night maybe? I dunno, we shall see.
Stay tuned (or not, s'up to you...)
Me.

Current Location: Matt's computer chair (Insert evil laughter here)
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Whose Line Is It Anyway? (TV's up too loud, no music for me)

Ok, I haven't felt like such a child in a long long time, but at the Panic! concert last night, when the band walked on stage... I swear I reverted right back to my twelve year old self at an nsync concert. (Woulda said backstreet boys, but I never got to see them in concert.) Anyway, point is... I didn't realize just how excited I was to see them in concert until the guys took the stage. And then I pretty much screamed like a mad woman the entire time they were on. Honestly, I couldn't even tell you how long the show lasted... as far as I'm concerned it could have gone on for days and I would have been right there the whole time, jumping up and down, singing along when I knew the words and screaming and cheering when I didn't.
And seriously, aside from a few minor disappointments, it was a bloody. fucking. awesome show! I've been to a TON of concerts in my life, ok, and this one was definitely in my top five. That is really saying something, seriously. 'I Write Sins Not Tragedies' was kind of a let down, because Brendon didn't touch Ryan at ALL, and he didn't do the 'fucking slut' thing either... but Merissa, Tracie and I took care of that for him. I understand though, because it was the first concert of the tour, they were nervous, I guess (I know that I would be), so we can forgive them for that stuff. I didn't particularly love all of the stuff going on around them, it was a little distracting from the band. But some of it was great, and really funny.

And Zack was TOTALLY right on about the trash can thing, it fucking OWNED. That was the most kick ass thing I've ever seen a band do live, and aside from the performance of "There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Figured It Out Yet" (which is my favorite Panic! song) that was my favorite part of the show. I really can't get over that. Seriously.
Oh yeah, while we were waiting for Aron to get there so we could go in, we saw Zack, their body guard, and we talked to him for like half an hour... before he left to go do whatever it was that he was doing, he told us that his favorite part of the show (and by the way we weren't supposed to know, so he told us not to say anything) had something to do with trash cans. He wouldn't say anything else. I'm not gonna say anything either. Anyone who happens to read this and is going to a Panic! concert will just have to get the information elsewhere... or be surprised. Surprised is more fun...
Anyway. I'm like... tired, so I'm going away now...

Until we meet again...
~*Erin*~

PS~ Oh! Almost forgot! We missed MOST of their performance, simply because we didn't know they were going on first, but Jack's Mannequin fucking rocked too... yup. :)

Current Location: comfy couch land
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Jack's Mannequin, in my head, i'm too lazy to go get my iPod

OK, so there are some subjects that you should just pretty much NOT bring up with me, because I tend to feel very strongly about them and I get very defensive. Especially if you happen to be expressing an opinion that is opposite mine.
The bad thing about opinions is that for most people, you really can't change them. So arguing opinions is generally pointless.
For example. My night at work was pretty much peachy, except that my leveling buddy was asking me all kinds of questions... stuff he really shouldn't have been asking, but he was making conversation and I was sort of humoring him without really saying anything. Anyway we got on the subject of where I live, and he asked me if I live with my boyfriend. I told him the truth of course, and I really don't know why I let the conversation go any further, I should have stopped him right-the-fuck-there and said, "Let's talk about something else." But anyway, the end result of the conversation is he asked me, "Don't you think you should wait until you're married to do that stuff?" and I said, "Well even if I did, it's too late... and why wait until marriage, that's no fun." then of course, he starts saying something about the bible.
Whoa.
I don't do conversations about religion. Why? I'm very. fucking. opinionated. on the subject. that's why. Honestly. I don't like to talk about it, because generally I don't want to offend anyone. And yeah, it's kinda rude to talk about religion with someone when you don't know what their religion is, because something you say could very well offend them. I DO NOT agree with the bible, or at least with a lot of things in it. I don't agree with christianity, or a LOT of Christians, simply because they feel that they HAVE to convince everyone that their religion is the only right one. If their religion was the only right one then there wouldn't be any others, would there? And if everyone was meant to be that same (the same race, the same sexuality, you name it) then they fucking would be. And I don't get why some people can't see that! It doesn't seem like a very difficult concept to grasp, and yet so many people have a problem with it. I only tell people that I think I can trust what my religion is. The reason that I don't just tell everyone is because one, I don't like confrontations. Two, I don't want to be taunted, hated, ignored or otherwise because I'm not christian. I don't think that's fair. A person is a person, regardless of race, gender, sexuality, religion and so on. No one tried to make laws against an african american person marrying a white person... I know a lot of people don't approve, but there aren't any laws against it. So why is it any different for two men or two women? It doesn't make any fucking sense. And what about the fucking separation of church and state? Marriage is technically a church issue, so there shouldn't be any laws concerning marriage in the first place...
Ok, anyway, back to my original point. He was asking me all kinds of stuff about what don't I agree with, why don't I agree, yadda yadda yadda. And I was asking him for his point of view and he couldn't even give me a damn original thought. All he had to say on anything I brought up was, "Well, in the bible it says this..." and "Well, God made it this way..." I was getting so mad, I could hardly see straight. And, yay me, I wasn't even showing it. Thankfully he went home pretty soon after the conversation started. I kind of regret that I didn't tell him off for starting a conversation like that with me, but then again, I do have to work with him and I don't want anyone to hate me or anything... that generally tends to suck big time.
Alright, guess I'm done for now. Gotta go to bed, have to work again tomorrow... and then i'm off for two days! YAY! I get to spend two days putting my costume together for Spookfest at work, so it'll be all pretty and stuff. Ok, nighty night!

Current Location: At home... soon to be in bed...
Current Mood: hungry
Current Music: Holiday From Real- Jack's Manneqin

Still not used to this LJ thing, but what the hell... DUDE! I got an hour and thirty-five minutes of overtime today! yippee! and its only freakin saturday, hell yeah. I'm gonna have a good week, yay! I'll have thirty five hours and three days off. Lotsa fun!
um, ok, I've been sitting here for twenty minutes and I can't think of anything else. GOD I'm boring.

Current Location: HOME!
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: What's This?- Fall Out Boy